Feb 13, 19-I Forget
Most significant other (MSO) & I had a most unusual per-marriage relationship. I can’t really say we “dated” in the usual American sense – although she claims we did a little. I never considered going out with a group of people a date, but she was a foreigner of a conservative culture so in her eyes, I guess we did.
But not for long.
I don’t know what it was – I was in my early 40s and by some definitions, I’d been married twice before … actually had recently broken it off with #2.
But the little voice inside my head told me to not hesitate; this woman was worth the full commitment – I knew it right away. Wasn’t sure she did.
We were in Colorado. Being of vastly different religions – or the same one, depending on how “religion” is defined – and being as Colorado acknowledged common-law marriages, we got married in the eyes of the state.
Turns out the Feds don’t recognize common-law when it comes to things like green cards and immigration processes.
So today is the day we went to the courthouse and got married for the Feds.
So today, Feb 13th, is one of our anniversaries. And it had nothing to do with Valentine’s Day, it had to do with being Friday the 13th.
But we have three anniversaries.
Our family and friends wanted a “wedding”, so a few months later at a nicer time of year, a friend of ours, legally empowered to perform weddings, not that it was necessary, married us yet again in the “proper way” – in front of friends and family. A good time was had by all, music included “They’re Coming To Take Me Away” (yes, ghostsniper, it’ll be on Tunes For Tuesday someday), and I heard the food was excellent – I didn’t get any. And everybody went home happy.
Especially me.
Our apartment was full of guests, including parents … and that one friend that gets too drunk. I was with him when he tried to check into the hotel he and his wife reserved. They took his money then denied he paid – and refused him the room. So he and his wife also spent our wedding night with us.
MSO and I spent our wedding night sleeping on the floor with the other lessor beings; parent sets getting the two bedrooms.
But the anniversary we celebrate is the first one, the common-law marriage where we both committed to each other some 25 years or so ago.
And it seems to still be working out. Wouldn’t trade what I have for anything.
Congratulations on the anniversary.
Thanks
Congrats!
Tomorrow starts my 2nd week of “holidays” if you erase the notion that years start over on 01 January.
The 14th is, of course, Valentines Day with whatever frivolities that generally occur, and my mothers birthday.
The 15th is my wife’s birthday and again frivolities will occur.
Then the 18th will be our 41st anniversary and we’re going to do something diff this year. Yes, I’ll give her flowers and a 5 lb bag of M&M’s but we’re also going to prepare the Thanksgiving meal we DIDN’T have last Nov because we were both sick.
But it will be a shortened version cause I just can’t get into the WHOLE routine and we just don’t eat like we used to. No sense in building a whole buncha food that won’t get et.
So it’ll be an 8lb Honeysuckle White Turkey breast, mashed loaded potatoes, gravy, dressing, trashed green beans, and dinner rolls.
In days gone by we’d also have yams, cranberry sauce and a few other things but as I said, them days are gone.
A lot has changed over the past 4 decades when my now wife and I had our first Thanksgiving together. That was in Nov 1983. We met in March 1983 and I moved into her place in June but we didn’t get married until Feb 1984. Thanksgiving Day showed up and we didn’t know how to respond, so we didn’t. Kinda. T-Day morning we wondered what we would do so we jumped in my ride and went for a roll.
After awhile we got hungry and started looking for a place to chow down. Soon, we came upon a place called “The Village Inn” a joint sort of like Applebee’s. Sit down style. They had a Thanksgiving ensemble consisting of all the regular stuff you’d expect, for like, $5.99 or something and that is what we both got. Five ninety nine was a fair amount of coin in them days, I’ll remind you. Hell, you could get a 12pak of Bud for less than that!
So yeah, we ate good that day.
The following year we were married, my wife’s parent moved to Florida to be near us, so starting in 1984 and every year after until 2017 we spent Thanksgiving Day at her parents house. Much of my wife’s fambly were always there and the ones that were’nt would drift in and out through the course of the day. My FIL and me would usually crash out somewhere for an hour or so then get up and dive into the grub again.
Then my FIL law died in 2007 and everything was diff after that. We all still all got together but it wasn’t the same. The future started coming faster now. Then in 2017 my MIL died and the world changed. Our son had long moved back to FL and started a fambly of his own so now it was just my wife and me on T Day. In a way we had to be reborn again, for the first time. If that makes sense. With the snap of a finger the lives we had been living for almost 40 years were changed to….what?
We stumbled headlong into our new future and we found our way but it is a way completely different than what we knew. Now, 7 years later we’re well back on our feets regarding everything winter holidays but we both sit in front of the fire when the end of the year draws down and smile inwardly at what we had and what we have.
That reminds me…I gotta git that burd (10 below zero) out of the deep freeze cause it’s gonna take 4-5 days to thaw in the fridge….
spelling and grammar errors be dammed
Triple-sealed must be the secret to permanent bliss.
Congrats to you both!
Thanks
Many Happy Returns, DT
Thank you