Little Coon
One morning in Colorado, we got up to find this little critter laying on our back porch step.
Now a coon isn’t going to hang around people without a bit of hissing and snarling and generally making a fuss.
Not a peep; he looked up at us then laid his head back down.
It was pretty obvious this little guy was sick, drooling, looked like he pee’d himself in place … and look at his expression. No obvious blood though.
Likely rabid; I’m not getting close … but we did put out a bowl of water and a bit of food (no cats at the time, so no kitty krunchies)
I may be willing to kill an animal – quickly – but I hate to see one injured or sick. I wasn’t going to kill this one so we kept an eye on him and left him alone. Kept the water bowl filled; kept a bit of food nearby. But he’s on his own – rabies isn’t something to fool with – better to get bit by a rattlesnake.
He more or less stayed in place on the porch step for a few days; eventually crawled under the porch. Probably safer – coyotes couldn’t get under there (but damn! now I’m going to have to get down on my knees and pull the body out if he croaks under there!)
Then one day … no racoon.
For the most part I like all wild creatures because I understand they all play a part in the bigger picture. Opossums are sort of hideous but I read some stuff recently that may have elevated their status in my mind.
There are plenty of racoons around here and we enjoy watching them. Our house has a porch all the way around the outside 360 degrees with the back side completely screened in and the other 3 sides have a wooden railing. The entire house is elevated above the surrounding land and because the land slopes in 2 directions the distance from porch floor to the land underneath can be from 1 foot to 6 foot high.
Twice, in 2 consecutive years, a coon chose to die under our porch, close to the front door. The only way we knew this was because of the smell, and it was increasingly atrocious. Our mutt Shannon was instrumental in locating precisely where the critter was each time because we couldn’t even see it under the porch because the land was a foot below the porch and there were lots of leaves under there.
While enduring the horrendous smell I had to uninstall some deck boards to get to the corpus delecti. Then, using 2 shovels like tongs, lift the liquifying corpse up from down between the floor joists and drop it in a trash bag lined cardboard box. What a nasty mess.
The shovels were big and awkward and acted more like chop sticks than tongs. Suffice to say, the shovels have to make several trips down there to get all the deteriorating parts. I think I just dry heaved while writing that. It was terrible man.
That box was then carried to the rear property line and sat down, let it go back to nature. It took days for that smell to get out of my snoot and brain.
Well wouldn’t you know it, the very next year it happened again but this time the corpse was about 6 feet away from the first one and different deck boards had to be removed. The coon was more liquidish too. Jayziss.
The last incident was about 4 years ago and the boxes have collapsed on the property line and in time will go back to molecules. I have no idea if creatures got the contents because I stay away from it.
FWIW, when I was in the Cub Scouts when I was 10 I caught a field mouse and was playing with it and it bit my finger. The mouse ran off and I had to get 14 rabies shots in the belly. One a day. This was in 1965 and believe it or not the family doctor came to the house each day and did the shot. Yes, for most people, back then was better in many ways.
Back then family doctors had common sense. Now days it seems all they can do is recommend something that the drug companies are pushing. Here is an interesting tidbit having to do with drugs.
“Pharmakeia” (φαρμακεία) is a Greek term appearing in several New Testament passages conveying the idea of sorcery, witchcraft, or the use of magical potions. It is related to the words φάρμακον (pharmakon), meaning “drug” or “poison,” and φαρμακεύς (pharmakeus), meaning “one who prepares or uses magical potions.” From these roots, English derives “pharmacy,” although in biblical contexts the emphasis is consistently on harmful, misleading, or occult practices rather than morally neutral medical use.
So, now we get to wait for Chapter 2?
“The End”
What??!!
Chapter 2
Hurry up, dagnabbit.
I see you shiver with antici…pation!
You’re gonna drag this out, aren’tcha?
I’ve lost you. Racoon gone – story ends. No Chapter 2.
Racoon dead by now; this was near-on 20 tears ago.
You lost me but I’m comin’ back…you never found the racoon under the porch?
Nope. Racoon gone.
Back when I was working, I spent what my memory tells me was a couple’o months on trips that had me spending a night in Portland, Oregon.
In preface, I liked Portland. Portland is very pretty. While it has always been more left-leaning than I am, these were the days when Portlanders were proud that Portland was merely weird and not bat-shit crazy as it is today.
Anyway, I’m a guy who likes a good breakfast. I love sitting at the counter at a Waffle House. So on one of my mornings in Portland, the first thing on my agenda was to find a good diner, and I did exactly what you might do: I checked Google. The diner that I decided on was going to be a bit of a walk, but it wasn’t raining, so I was up for that too.
My walk took me through much of downtown Portland. There were some signs of it’s upcoming demise….more-than-expected numbers of closed businesses, some of which had a sleeping hippie/drug addict curled up on the doorstep.
Every couple’o blocks I’d pull out my phone to see if I was still doing OK on Google Maps.
And as I was heads-down, looking at my phone, right there in the middle of downtown Portland, not 20 feet to my left, the biggest, fattest raccoon I have ever seen, dropped out of a tree. As he scampered across the street, he looked back over his shoulder and snarled at me (as hippies are wont to do).
A young turkey was roosting in a crabapple tree across the street yesterday morning. Rabbits are everywhere. Skunk scooted down the street pre-dawn this morning. I love watching the wildlife.
That’s a good time to watch the world.