Should I Even Share This?
But Gerard got personal at times and, since he’s (sometimes) my inspiration, I’ll put this up and y’all can think what you will. I don’t deny I’m a crazy SOB.
I had a very vivid dream last night: I was working at my computer like I often do. This wasn’t a distorted dream – unlike many dreams, everything appeared real and rational. Even after I woke up, for that first split-second I wondered how I got back to bed from my office.
The way I sit in my office, my monitors block my view of the door.
I heard the door open, and felt someone gently squeeze my toes sticking out from under my desk. I looked up and saw Jan standing back up. Now I don’t often catch names in dreams … but no doubt this was Jan; her name was even spoken. Didn’t even think how strange it was that she’d show up in my office.
I jumped up and we hugged each other as one would hug a close friend that hadn’t been seen for 50 years; for that matter, 1976 may be the last time I saw her …
Jan was a beautiful 21yo redhead. I was never certain – even now – if we were ever “boyfriend & girlfriend”. We dated a lot, we had good times together — I don’t remember why we just … stopped. I don’t remember “love” being any part or promise either. I was once a redhead as well and one of the things I remember about our relationship – if that’s what it was – is that I shouldn’t date redheads. But I really, really liked Jan. I don’t recall anything that hints she didn’t feel the same way about me. That was 1974/75 or thereabouts.
Why such a vivid dream – that still sticks in my mind long after most dreams fade into nothingness?
I haven’t thought about Jan in decades; she wasn’t “the one” that got away.
I can hear her voice even as I write this.
So I popped onto this magic box and did a Duckduckgo search. Wonder what she’s up to?
And there was her obituary from 2022. She died of cancer of some sort.
I’m open to things we can’t explain – was it Jan’s spirit that visited me last night?
I’d like think it was and that she still remembered me – not unfondly.
Rest in peace, Jan …
How sweet, DT.
I strongly believe she came to visit. Maybe to say good-bye.
What a lovely memory with which she gifted you.
Sometimes it seems that we are here and then gone in the twinkling of an eye.
Yes. Yes it was.
I can believe in that sort of thing because I had a similar experience though there was nothing physical (your hugging) about it. Years ago I was home alone in our bed, asleep I think, when something woke me up. We had a fireplace directly in front of our bed and in front of it was a young man looking at a picture that was on the mantle. The way he was dressed was from a much earlier time, maybe even an earlier century but he looked familiar. He never turned around and after a short time, there was a noise to my right which made me turn my head and when I turned back he was
gone. The strangest part of the experience was that I had no fear whatsoever. I just shut my eyes and went back to sleep. The next morning when I woke up, I went into the bathroom which was to my right and found that a suction-cup soap dish had fallen into the tub.
There were two possibilities of whom it could have been. On the mantle I had a picture of a younger brother of my mother’s who died very young. And in the living room we had a painting of a young man who resembled the one I saw. There were rumors of a ghost appearing in one of the homes in our neighborhood and I had always imagined the ghost resembled the young man in our painting.